John Quincy Adams Digital Diary

9. V:15. Friday.

Rainy night and morning— Cold and cloudy day—clearing off towards Evening. In the multitudinous whimsies of a disabled mind and body, the thick coming fancies often occur to me that the events which affect my life and adventures are specially shaped to disappoint my purposes— My whole life has been a succession of disappointments— I can scarcely recollect a single instance of success to any thing that I ever undertook. Yet with fervent Gratitude to God, I confess that my life has been equally marked by great and signal successes, which I neither aimed at nor anticipated— Fortune, by which I understand Providence has showered blessings upon me profusely— But they have been blessings unforeseen and unsought— Non Nobis Domine, non Nobis sed nomini tuo da gloriam. I ought to have been taught by it three lessons— 1 Of implicit reliance upon Providence 2. Of humility and humiliation—the thorough conviction of my own impotence to accomplish any thing. 3. Of Resignation—and not to set my heart upon any thing which can be taken from me or denied— I can now do scarcely anything but read, and I read the remaining sheets of the Autobiography of my father, which comes down only to October 1776. I lament that he did not continue it— I have also finished Mr. Rush’s Volume upon his Residence in London.