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adams-john10 Emily Wieder Federalist Party

96The Month.

My rising hour has varied from 4:15— to 7— The average being about 5. After making my fire I have been constantly writing till breakfast between nine and ten— The morning newspapers then engage an hour or more, and visitors, and the heads of Departments and the Mail despatch time till half past three or four— Then comes the ride of two hours or the walk of one— We dine between five and six— I spend an Evening hour or two with my wife, and then two or three hours in my chamber, writing again till eleven, and sometimes till near Midnight.

I have written very few Letters, and a few Messages of Routine, but the principal occupation of the Month has been the finishing of the Observations upon Brevet-rank and command—and the Letter in answer to that of 13 self assumed leaders of the federal party in Massachusetts; which is now prepared, and will be despatched to-morrow Morning— This is one of the severe trials of my life; and comes while I am passing through another which leaves my character and Reputation a wreck. In looking back I see nothing that I could have avoided: nothing that I ought to repent.

I have found that occupation suspended the pains of disappointment, and has even filled with enjoyment time which would otherwise have been distracted with anguish and agitation— My principal object will be to habituate myself to interesting occupation—could I be sure of retaining the interest with which I now write, the engagedness, which Paley deems so essential to comfortable existence, I should endure my fall with composure perfectly philosophical— I have nothing further to hope from man— My only trust is in the Divine Disposer, and of him, all that I can presume to ask is to stay the hand of his wrath—to grant me fortitude to endure, and in disposing of me, as to him shall seem wise and good, to extend to my wife and children an abundant portion of his mercies and consolations.

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Citation

John Quincy Adams, , , The John Quincy Adams Digital Diary, published in the Primary Source Cooperative at the Massachusetts Historical Society: